we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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