Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just want to make out with him forever
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize