yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize