Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
