separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
