the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There are leaves in my underwear?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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