I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Randomize
