You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize