i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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