haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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