so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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