everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
