they need to just BURY HIM!
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize