Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We had sex on a dog bed..
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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