So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
