I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
