My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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