I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
