honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
