OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
