Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Im part way to drunk.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
