I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
