hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
