carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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