My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
