she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
