I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
