he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
