Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
