best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
