We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
