So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
