Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
When are your genitals available?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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