I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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