what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
