8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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