my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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