i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
