Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
