Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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