If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
