I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
