I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
