Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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