I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
