I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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