how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
