hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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