hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize