you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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