Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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