Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
