So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
