I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
