he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
