You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
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