The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
