I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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