Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
