this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
